What to Expect at Kids Parties

Ed went to two 3rd Birthday parties this weekend so I thought I’d write about my experiences so far for the amusement of myself and hopefully others. Disclaimer: the use of people, places, and events depicted herein are fictitious. (Not! It’s all true..sorry if I’ve been to anyone’s party reading this!)

So, some have booze (for adults!) most don’t. The former are more enjoyable for obvious reasons but perhaps the most forgettable. Some are with people you know, some with people you don’t. However, your child will know all the other children so you’ll end up talking to the parents of the kid your kid is hanging around with.

You’ll discuss with people you don’t know: potty training, nurseries, schools, your child’s eating habits, holidays. With people you do know: your husband’s habits, how shit your job is, other people, holidays. Warning: don’t ask other parents if they’re going to the ‘other’ party…they might not be. Awkward.

Some parties are in village halls with inflatables (make sure you go to the right village hall and not the WI meeting down the road!) Some will have older kids who try to hog the inflatable so you’ll have to tactfully, politely ask them to ‘share’ the inflatable. If drinking, you’ll just ignore that situation or tell the selfish older brats to shove off.

There is always a mother/mother-in-law who is heavily involved in the party organising. They rarely smile and definitely don’t drink. You’ll often see a mummy you’ve seen somewhere else before but aren’t sure from where. If sober, you’ll spend the whole two hours wondering where you know them from, mentally trawling the mummy groups/events you’ve attended. Then one hour after the party (when you have a glass of wine in hand) you’ll realise she cut your hair once in Toni and Guy.

There might be hired entertainment – ‘Music Man’ was late and went to the wrong address so I won’t be adding his webpage! ‘Little Stars’ was great and included a singing and parachute activity which parents were encouraged to get involved with. A few didn’t, including one dad on his phone. My husband went to the party today and got involved with ‘Boogie Beats, he said,”It was like doing a work-out!”

There are multiple other things I could write about: the food – only for kids – suck it up parents! Although when they finish, dads and then mums tuck in on what’s left. The present – how much to spend (£5?!) The goodie bag: your son/daughter will have eaten/lost everything in it by the end of the day.

Any mummy/daddy friends reading this, please continue to invite us in the future. I guess I’ll also have to consider doing a party for Ed one day…..!


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